Building Resilience in Teens and Young Adults

Mental health professionals and educators are placing greater emphasis on the importance of resilience. At its core, emotional resilience involves navigating challenges and coping with the inevitable highs and lows of life. As much as parents want to protect them, our teens will face stress, sadness, frustration, and anxiety. Teaching resilience to young adults is about helping them realize they can navigate a range of emotions and make it through, even when it's tough.

Don't Try to Fix Everything

While your intent may be to help your teen or young adult, Stepping in to rescue them too often can erode their confidence in their ability to handle difficult situations. One of the best ways to build resilience is to handle difficult situations themselves.

Be there for your teen during tough moments, acknowledging their feelings and encouraging them to express what they're going through. Ask them what they think might help resolve the issue. This can strengthen their ability to handle distress.

While it is hard to watch your child struggle, allowing them to come up with and test their own solutions — even if they make some mistakes along the way — you're helping build their resilience for adulthood.

Let them know when you are concerned

Allowing your teen to work through their problems doesn’t mean stepping away. It's important to stay involved and voice concern when needed. if you see them spending less time with friends than normal, it’s a good idea to check in and talk about it.

Asking open-ended questions is a great start. You could say, "I've noticed that you're not playing basketball at the park lately. Any reason in particular?" Ask them if they'd like help thinking about solutions or if they just want to vent. Be sure to follow up with them about it.

Show Empathy

What may seem minor to you can be really upsetting for your teen or young adult. Instead of downplaying their feelings, try to show more empathy and understand what they’re experiencing. Validating their feelings can go a long way.

Demonstrate Problem-Solving

Resilient individuals can come up with solutions to their problems and make adjustments when things don’t go as expected. However, this skill takes time to develop, and many teens haven’t yet had the opportunity to practice it. As a parent, you can model practical problem-solving and guide your teen in learning how to find solutions.

Start by asking your teen if they've ever helped a friend through a similar situation and what worked for them. Listen to their thoughts first, then guide them in identifying steps they can take. Together, brainstorm other possible solutions in case they need a backup plan. Let them take the lead in solutions.

Normalize Challenges

It is ok to share minor challenges you've had and how you worked through them. It is also important to demonstrate good coping skills when dealing with a difficult situation and focus on a positive outcome. this emphasizes resilience. A key way to teach resilience is by recognizing that it's okay to ask for help. When teens are feeling overwhelmed by their emotions, encourage them to reach out for professional support. Don't wait for a crisis.

Building resilience in teens equips them with the skills and mindset they’ll need to navigate challenges confidently as adults.